Over the weekend, I turned over and over in my head the idea that there has to be a better way for this country. A better way to govern, to get along, to cooperate, to reach consensus . . . in short to do all the things a government should do. I just ran into trouble trying to quantify that.
It gets into pretty abstract territory - motivations and desires and so on. Basically, I do believe that for whatever reason, many reasonable bits of legislation are stopped simply because there is some political purpose served in stopping it.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Quick Music List
Songs shuffled up by my iPod this afternoon:
1. I Eat Cannibals - Total Coelo - MTV Class of 1983
2. In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins - No Jacket Required
3. The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang - Hooray For Boobies
4. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run
5. Rockin' the Bronx - Black 47 - Fire of Freedom
6. One True Love - Semisonic - All About Chemistry
7. Goin' Up - Great Big Sea - Road Rage
8. Applehead Man - Trip Shakespeare - Epic Renditions
9. Poetry Club - Various - The Arthur and Friends Almost Live Album
10. Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley - 30 #1 Hits
11. James Connolly - Black 47 - Fire of Freedom
12. She's Got It All Worked Out - Semisonic - Feeling Strangely Fine
13. Everything - Handsome Devil - Love and Kisses from Underground
14. Lady Nina - Marillion - B-Sides Themselves
15. Hurdy-Gurdy Man - Donovan - Unknown
16. Deacon Blues - Steely Dan - Citizen Steely Dan
17. Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd - Forrest Gump Soundtrack
18. Battle of Kookamonga - Homer and Jethro - Dr. Demento 20th Anniversary Collection
19. Czechoslovakia - Black 47 - Green Suede Shoes
20. Good Music - Joan Jett - Good Music
Make of this what you will.
1. I Eat Cannibals - Total Coelo - MTV Class of 1983
2. In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins - No Jacket Required
3. The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang - Hooray For Boobies
4. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run
5. Rockin' the Bronx - Black 47 - Fire of Freedom
6. One True Love - Semisonic - All About Chemistry
7. Goin' Up - Great Big Sea - Road Rage
8. Applehead Man - Trip Shakespeare - Epic Renditions
9. Poetry Club - Various - The Arthur and Friends Almost Live Album
10. Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley - 30 #1 Hits
11. James Connolly - Black 47 - Fire of Freedom
12. She's Got It All Worked Out - Semisonic - Feeling Strangely Fine
13. Everything - Handsome Devil - Love and Kisses from Underground
14. Lady Nina - Marillion - B-Sides Themselves
15. Hurdy-Gurdy Man - Donovan - Unknown
16. Deacon Blues - Steely Dan - Citizen Steely Dan
17. Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd - Forrest Gump Soundtrack
18. Battle of Kookamonga - Homer and Jethro - Dr. Demento 20th Anniversary Collection
19. Czechoslovakia - Black 47 - Green Suede Shoes
20. Good Music - Joan Jett - Good Music
Make of this what you will.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Fear Part I
It is one of the more often repeated memes that having children is a life changing experience. In my case, at least, that is certainly true. There are the obvious changes in what you say and do with kids around, as well as the things that you become familiar with (Barney, The Wiggles, Elmo and so on) that you would have been mortified to have to even acknowledged before. You think about colleges and preschools and eating habits and so on . . . all the "normal" things that people think about when they have kids.
There's another shift, though, a deeply emotional one. To be honest, I was unaware of it, until it walloped me in the face. The TV series, Homicide: Life On The Street was in syndication and I got hooked on it. So, I was watching it and the episode A Doll's Eyes came on. As I watched that episode, particularly when the child died, my emotions exploded in my. I didn't just tear up or cry, literally howls of grief came out of me. That's never happened before. As time went on, I became aware that when it comes to images or stories of children suffering, I simply cannot bear to watch. Much as I wanted to see the movie, I knew I could never watch Life is Beautiful - the whole premise of trying to shield horror from the eyes of a beloved child is something I could not watch.
In addition to deep empathy for suffering children, I also discovered I had a deep emotional link with the way my children view me. I'm sensitive to the thought that something I might do will let them down or disappoint them. When my company announced a pretty drastic restructuring, the specter of layoffs loomed over me. I tried to imagine how I might explain this to my three little girls - why daddy wasn't at work or why daddy had to change jobs, and I found that the prospect of this distressed me. I didn't want them to see that their daddy was as powerless as they were sometimes. Since their grandmother died in the World Trade Center, I've had to explain on a couple of occasions about that - and how do you tell children that there are some things mommies and daddies cannot do? These things hurt me - as long as my girls think I am invincible, I think they can feel safe standing with invincible daddy. I'm not ready for them to learn I'm just another person like them, no more or less.
That's why the news on NPR on Thursday that inflation may be on the horizon really dropped me into a funk. Our household is making around $70K per year, we have a $1600 or so mortgage payment (yes, we pay PMI and all that escrow), we have a daughter in day care ($150 per week) and another daughter in a pre-K program ($222 per month). We also have a 5 year note outstanding for approximately $55,000 which comes to a $750 per month payment (and it will balloon soon, as well). This last is the remnants of too much credit card debt incurred in the late nineties. We own our cars outright. I have approximately 5 prescriptions that need filling per month, at $35 a pop (thanks for the slash in bennies, RSA). There are also our various bills. What this boils down to is a budget that has no allowance for saving at all, no retirement funds, no college funds, no 401K, nothing. Even having said that, we find ourselves on the negative side of the ledger as often as not when paycheck time nears. It is a knife-edge situation. My pay raises have amounted to about 2.7% annually - these are the merit raises, reward for good work. Really, they are thinly disguised COLA raises, and really sort of diet COLA since they aren't even quite up to inflation.
A surge in inflation, especially in food, durable goods and gas (the three things all families need) could tip us. I'm terrified of this. I recall one occasion when bad planning and so on left us without baby formula for 24 hours I thought. We simply had no money and would have none until the next day when I got paid. Luckily we had some packets stashed in diaper bags as well as some sample soy formula and we made it. For a bit there, though, my wife and I were talking about approaching our pediatrician for some samples to get us through. While that is humiliating enough for adults, what happens when you have to explain to your kids that you can't feed them because you have no money? Or, perhaps more realistically, when you have to tell them you cannot afford to go get ice cream or some other treat? It all comes back to that sense of failure - of having failed your children.
But, damn it, this one is so preventable. I look at the mess that is the economy, at least the economy for those of us who do not have stock portfolios and Beemers, for those of us who have to work to get by, and it is a sad state. Jobs are scarce, even for a programmer/analyst like me. My wife was laid off in late 2002 by her company and only in January was able to get a job, after a full year and change of being unemployed. That year gap also, in a particularly vicious cycle, makes it hard to get work since she, like me, works in computers and a year out of work and away from this dynamic profession is a Very Bad Thing. Since my company announced it is restructuring in early September last year, I have been seeking work. There's just not much there. Adding to this, summer is coming and my kindergarten and Pre-K daughters will be out of school and we will have to pay for care for them. We simply cannot afford it. We are, right now, unable to find a solution. My wife may have to leave her part time job since the cost of day care would outstrip her earning ability.
Why has the government forsaken all of us who live from check to check? Do we not pay enough in taxes? Is it because we cannot afford to contribute much to political campaigns? Is it because we cannot afford to invest? What is the reason? And, if my wife and I, both holding bachelor's degrees from great schools (Duke for me and Northwestern for my wife), both trained and employed for years in programmer/analyst positions cannot make it, what of all those with no college degree or a manufacturing job that is leaving the country? What do they do?
I'm scared I'll have to explain why we don't have food for the girls. I'm scared we might lose the house and have to move in with relatives. I'm scared that despite my best efforts, I will be found wanting by the economy and I'll have to explain that to three girls who believe I am invincible.
There's another shift, though, a deeply emotional one. To be honest, I was unaware of it, until it walloped me in the face. The TV series, Homicide: Life On The Street was in syndication and I got hooked on it. So, I was watching it and the episode A Doll's Eyes came on. As I watched that episode, particularly when the child died, my emotions exploded in my. I didn't just tear up or cry, literally howls of grief came out of me. That's never happened before. As time went on, I became aware that when it comes to images or stories of children suffering, I simply cannot bear to watch. Much as I wanted to see the movie, I knew I could never watch Life is Beautiful - the whole premise of trying to shield horror from the eyes of a beloved child is something I could not watch.
In addition to deep empathy for suffering children, I also discovered I had a deep emotional link with the way my children view me. I'm sensitive to the thought that something I might do will let them down or disappoint them. When my company announced a pretty drastic restructuring, the specter of layoffs loomed over me. I tried to imagine how I might explain this to my three little girls - why daddy wasn't at work or why daddy had to change jobs, and I found that the prospect of this distressed me. I didn't want them to see that their daddy was as powerless as they were sometimes. Since their grandmother died in the World Trade Center, I've had to explain on a couple of occasions about that - and how do you tell children that there are some things mommies and daddies cannot do? These things hurt me - as long as my girls think I am invincible, I think they can feel safe standing with invincible daddy. I'm not ready for them to learn I'm just another person like them, no more or less.
That's why the news on NPR on Thursday that inflation may be on the horizon really dropped me into a funk. Our household is making around $70K per year, we have a $1600 or so mortgage payment (yes, we pay PMI and all that escrow), we have a daughter in day care ($150 per week) and another daughter in a pre-K program ($222 per month). We also have a 5 year note outstanding for approximately $55,000 which comes to a $750 per month payment (and it will balloon soon, as well). This last is the remnants of too much credit card debt incurred in the late nineties. We own our cars outright. I have approximately 5 prescriptions that need filling per month, at $35 a pop (thanks for the slash in bennies, RSA). There are also our various bills. What this boils down to is a budget that has no allowance for saving at all, no retirement funds, no college funds, no 401K, nothing. Even having said that, we find ourselves on the negative side of the ledger as often as not when paycheck time nears. It is a knife-edge situation. My pay raises have amounted to about 2.7% annually - these are the merit raises, reward for good work. Really, they are thinly disguised COLA raises, and really sort of diet COLA since they aren't even quite up to inflation.
A surge in inflation, especially in food, durable goods and gas (the three things all families need) could tip us. I'm terrified of this. I recall one occasion when bad planning and so on left us without baby formula for 24 hours I thought. We simply had no money and would have none until the next day when I got paid. Luckily we had some packets stashed in diaper bags as well as some sample soy formula and we made it. For a bit there, though, my wife and I were talking about approaching our pediatrician for some samples to get us through. While that is humiliating enough for adults, what happens when you have to explain to your kids that you can't feed them because you have no money? Or, perhaps more realistically, when you have to tell them you cannot afford to go get ice cream or some other treat? It all comes back to that sense of failure - of having failed your children.
But, damn it, this one is so preventable. I look at the mess that is the economy, at least the economy for those of us who do not have stock portfolios and Beemers, for those of us who have to work to get by, and it is a sad state. Jobs are scarce, even for a programmer/analyst like me. My wife was laid off in late 2002 by her company and only in January was able to get a job, after a full year and change of being unemployed. That year gap also, in a particularly vicious cycle, makes it hard to get work since she, like me, works in computers and a year out of work and away from this dynamic profession is a Very Bad Thing. Since my company announced it is restructuring in early September last year, I have been seeking work. There's just not much there. Adding to this, summer is coming and my kindergarten and Pre-K daughters will be out of school and we will have to pay for care for them. We simply cannot afford it. We are, right now, unable to find a solution. My wife may have to leave her part time job since the cost of day care would outstrip her earning ability.
Why has the government forsaken all of us who live from check to check? Do we not pay enough in taxes? Is it because we cannot afford to contribute much to political campaigns? Is it because we cannot afford to invest? What is the reason? And, if my wife and I, both holding bachelor's degrees from great schools (Duke for me and Northwestern for my wife), both trained and employed for years in programmer/analyst positions cannot make it, what of all those with no college degree or a manufacturing job that is leaving the country? What do they do?
I'm scared I'll have to explain why we don't have food for the girls. I'm scared we might lose the house and have to move in with relatives. I'm scared that despite my best efforts, I will be found wanting by the economy and I'll have to explain that to three girls who believe I am invincible.
Monday, April 12, 2004
Tactics and Strategy
It was interesting listening to Dr. Rice last week draw a distinction between tactical and strategic engagement of terrorists. This is something I have long thought the most appropriate tactic to take. Oddly, though, she spoke as though the two were mutually exclusive, when, in fact, they complement one another when done properly.
The way I see it, those who perpetrate terrorist acts must be caught and brought to justice. In addition, those who provided "aid and comfort" should be brought to justice as well. These are tactical acts, reacting to the on the spot changes in dynamics. Strategically speaking, we want to do several things. First, we want to reduce the level of hatred in the world aimed at us. This is, to my mind, a sine qua non of reducing the threat of terror. Second, we want to aim to make it harder to support terror, and I think the government is doing a decent job at this.
The way I see it, those who perpetrate terrorist acts must be caught and brought to justice. In addition, those who provided "aid and comfort" should be brought to justice as well. These are tactical acts, reacting to the on the spot changes in dynamics. Strategically speaking, we want to do several things. First, we want to reduce the level of hatred in the world aimed at us. This is, to my mind, a sine qua non of reducing the threat of terror. Second, we want to aim to make it harder to support terror, and I think the government is doing a decent job at this.
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